But, just for the sake of analysis, here is a response about how I develop a line (or in most cases a phrase or an idea) into a stanza with a pleasing tempo. NB: Because I edit a lot, I use either a laptop, or more likely my smartphone to compose my poetry. It provides the provisionality that I need to do this.
Let's start with a simple line...
A river flows toward the sea
The silver river flows toward the stormy sea
The argent river flows towardOK. Now it's transformed into two lines. Argent means silver. 'Contentious' is not something people would normally use as an adjective to describe the sea, but it conjures up some imagery for me, so I will use it! I can add more description, further adjectives, maybe enrich the nouns.... and also include a metaphor!
the mouth of a contentious sea
The argent river dances its relentless flowNow it's a little close to becoming a little pretentious, but let's pursue this for the sake of poetry! At this point I can decide whether I want to add some more lines with or without a rhyme scheme... I'm changing the tense from present to past at this point too for effect.
to kiss the angry maw of a contentious sea
The argent river danced its cold relentless flowto kiss the angry maw of a contentious seaI sat on the river bank and watched...
I need to complete this poem now, splitting up the lines to improve the flow to 6 syllables for each line. The technical term for this is 'accentual syllabic iambic trimeter'. Fancy name, but it doesn't matter what it's called as long as the poem sounds good and flows well. I'll add another metaphor, enrich it with an adjective and extend the clause with a simile to finish.
The argent river danced
its cold relentless flow
to kiss the angry maw
of a contentious sea
I sat alone upon
the jealous verdant banks
and watched the silent flow
mute as the fallow swan
And there it is. A few minutes of writing and thinking and I have an Octave which has some narrative, some assonance and casual rhyming, and plenty of flow (pun intended). I hope that helps, but I write in a different style to you and it may not resonate with you. This post is just to offer some insight into my own writing process. Each of us can develop their own process for writing poetry.
Steve Wheeler
Image from Wikimedia Commons
Interesting your comment about using a PC or phone. For some reason I tend to write it out by hand - when I make changes, I cross out the original and write the new word above it. But the original is still visible on paper, whereas it would be gone if I edited on a laptop. Or if there are two alternatives, I can write both down, one above the other. I then make a fair (handwritten) copy, during which multiple changes also occur. Because I write much slower than I can type, it gives me more time to think and consider. Only after about two or three hand-written drafts do I then type up on a computer (and then likely edit as well). I guess it's each to their own with methods of composing.
ReplyDeleteBut the best lines come without thinking - a line of iambic pentameter sometimes just comes into my head. Though that's a fairly rare occurrence.
I hear you Iain. Each to his own. I appreciate your comment about the previous version. But even in digital systems there is recourse to wind back to previous versions. See for example Google Docs or wiki based platforms, which saves all previous versions of a piece. I also prefer to use a device rather than writing if I can because it's easier for me when I'm on the move.
DeleteInteresting - I did not know about the versioning in Google Docs. I think it's possible to do it with Dropbox, but not looked into it.
DeletePart of it for me is the slowness with which I do handwriting compared with the speed of typing. But on the other hand, if I use a mobile phone I'm terrible at hitting the right keys, so that would be slow as well - giving me time to think.
Definitely going to try out some of you ideas above on the evolution of lines. My next Poetry Group meeting has the subject "Pictures". Plenty of scope there - white paper = canvas, pen = brush, ink = paint, drying ink = ideas crystallising etc. (Yes I'm old-fashioned and like to use a fountain pen, even if metaphorically!)
I would love to see the results!
DeleteReally helpful advice. This kind of construction and development wouldn't go amiss in an English Language classroom.
ReplyDeleteNice of you to say so. I never taught English but my wife is an expert proponent of Secondary English teaching. I guess it's akin to osmosis....
ReplyDeleteThanks for not only the expert advice, but to comments made, too. There is always something to learn!
ReplyDeleteUniversal Peace & Love 🪷
Thanks Karin. This blog is beginning to gain traction as more people view and comment. Let's hope it continues to grow - sharing this resource with others will help to achieve it!
DeleteAha!! The Wheeler methodology revealed!! Cloudbursts of information here Steve! The buildup you have incorporated here reminds me of a Joy Of Painting class, or even Bob Ross, only no “happy little trees”! Best blog I have read in some time. Between your blog today and Brandon’s, there is plenty for a clodhopping poet like me to play with. Also, the application of your links within the text provides info that is extremely useful. We certainly have different approaches, though I have been hungry for some kind of different direction and scope. This blog is really becoming something practical! I’m liking it more and more!!! Great article sir.
ReplyDeleteGlad it's resonating with more people. I love the Bob Ross comparison, but I never had the hair for it....
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